two idiots

“U r drunk,” I said to Ishan.

“Oi Chhad Yaaaar!!  I’m flushing out all the bad memories of the year. I want to go Happy-Happy in the Happy New Year!!!” Ishan was in high spirits.

“We have already boozed too much! Why do u want to kill your liver??”

“Ki Faraak Painda Hai Yaar?? Even the world is going to end in 2012…

( I was distracted by a girl who just passed by.)

“Don, remember?? We made a secret pact 2 years ago @ New Year’s Party??” Ishan was up to something.

“Ah…, the one where we decided to laugh out loud at each other’s jokes no matter how pathetic they were ???”

“No, No; the one that went like ‘We r prepared to try Everything At Least Once.’

“Yeah!!! Well, haven’t we??” I giggled, remembering the wildest n most insane things we did in the last couple of years.

“We have, but Not everything.”

“Wat do u mean??”

“Don, I have decided that I’m not gonna be single anymore…,” he said abruptly.

“Arre!!! But, U r only 24.” I said, puzzled, “Wat the heck!!!”

“What?? Oh !! I’m 24 already n I don’t even hv a Girlfriend!!! Shits!!!” Ishan became hyper.

“Dude!!! Believe me!! U don’t wanna hv a Girlfriend. In fact, more than a girlfriend, it’s the idea of ‘having a GF’ seems to have captured your fancy. Enjoy your freedom!!”

“R U f@#$!n Kidding Me!!! Freedom from what??? Don’t wind me up; I’m not that Drunk, am I??” He was emotional.

(Nobody spoke anything for a while)

“U know, Don, I have just realised that I’m a loser.” Suddenly Ishan said.

“No u r not.”

“Yes, I’m. Even U r a loser!!!”

“Whooo!!! Easy there Man!!!!” he had started pissing me off.

“I mean, what r we doing with Our Lives??? I cannot think of a single thing I have accomplished that I’m proud of. I’m a waste, ‘Dharti ka Boj!!!’ ” (He laughed @ his own joke.)

I tried to calm him down.

But he continued. “I’m sick of being constantly pushed around by people. Everyone seems to Preach Me what to do; Nobody even wants to listen what I wanna do!!! It sucks!!!” He banged the glass on the table.

“Don’t allow them too!! (I suddenly found myself Short of Words, so I continued babbling) You!! Be a Man!!! This is your life!! And U R in- charge of it. Just show them what u r!!! U r a MAN!! And this is Your Life!!” I said aggressively.

“Yes!! Enough is Enough!!!  From now on, It’s either my way or …(he forgot the expression) …& my life.”

“Yeah, that’s the spirit!! Let’s drink to that!!!” I raised my glass.

(We kept discussing about all this philosophical bullshit & questions of life, universe n everything until it became All Too Heavy)

“This drinking, Saala, is bad!! I’m gonna Quit Drinking” Said Ishan, with considerable effort.

I just smiled @ him, barely listening.

“I’m gonna Quit Smoking too!!!”

“U sure will” I said, sarcastically.

“U know, What’s the fun in making New Year Resolutions when u r drunk???” Asked Ishan, mischievously.

“What??” I was in Heaven now…

“U can choose to forget them under the pretence of being drunk (while making them)”

“Probably u r right.”  I was floating.

“Bottoms Up??? He said suddenly.

“Bottoms Up.”

( we gulped down the remaining vodka in one go.)

Next week Ishan called me.

“Aaj raat ka PLAN hai. R u in???”

“OK,” I said after a long pause.

P.S. My New Year’s Resolution that night was to keep maintaining this Blog. Let’s see, how it works out. Wish me luck 🙂
n by the way, Happy New Year!!!